I saw a giant at Sleeping Giant State Park

by Dave P

Hi Rob,

Thanks for telling me about your blog and sharing the results of your conspiracy research with the world. Together, if we all have the courage to ignore the ridicule of those sheeple who accept life as THEY present it to us, we can reveal the truth to the world! Like I was telling you when we played darts downtown at Knuckleheads the other night, I saw a giant in a cave at Sleeping Giant State Park. Ironic right? With the name…

I was there to walk Amos, my beagle, and to ogle all the Quinnipiac University girls hiking around in yoga pants. They outnumber the guys two to one, I heard. Anyway, Amos and I like to wander off the trails and find different stuff. There is this cool area with boulders left over from before the mountain was a park. Not so long ago, the mountain was a rock quarry. Anyway, Amos was running like a madman and there weren’t many chicks around so I just kept after him. I figured it was burning off part of this beer gut, you know? He found a cave. I wouldn’t normally go into caves but the mutt ran in first and was growing. He’s probably a good sized snack for a bear or mountain lion, so I got on hands and knees and crawled through the low opening after him.

I crawled in for a little bit and then it got pretty dark. I heard Amos up ahead, still growling at something. But I also heard someone making a shushing noise. I was stoked! I figured my dog caught a couple of those QU girls were back here getting it on!

I pulled out my phone and hit the button. First I was blinded by its light. I spun my phone around and I seen a huge guy, stooping low and waving massive hands with an extra finger on each, like it would keep Amos quiet. I stood upright and glanced up, I easily could have jumped with bumping my head and this guy was stooping. He had red hair in some huge do like he was from an eighties metal band. His cloths looked weird, like there was a disco in outer space. The phone screen turned off because of my stupid power saver setting.

When I got it back on the red haired giant was gone. I didn’t even get a chance to take his picture. It wouldn’t have turned out good anyways, the government blocks phones and cameras from taking clear pictures of stuff they want hidden. Amos didn’t follow him. I didn’t want to wander into Hollow Earth, neither. I tried to get back to that cave later, with my buddy’s motion sensor night vision camera he uses to hunt deer. I couldn’t find it again. I think the park rangers are helping keep the existence of the giants a secret!

See ya,
Dave P

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